Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
