i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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