She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
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while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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