Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize