like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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