laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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