i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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