no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
