You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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