If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
