Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize