I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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