KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
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It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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