i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
