He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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