He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize