Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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