He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
