i can't believe i had my finger in that
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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