I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
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Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
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The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house