hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.