Soap is not a condiment
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.