Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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