I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
yea but for you.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after