He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I didn't notice because vodka
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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