Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
