Soap is not a condiment
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
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Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
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My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
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