I just saw a hot homeless man
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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