She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."