Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
