I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.