with your own penis?
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.