I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.