best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
23 “Girl Codes” Guys Probably Don’t Know About
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
19 People Did The Wildest Things When They Were Black-Out Drunk
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT