she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
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