I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
