So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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