i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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