when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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