I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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