omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
