Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
