Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
