just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize