Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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