how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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