if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize