bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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