Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize