Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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