Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
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