I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize