God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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