i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
You're completely useless in the revolution.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
