I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
She's not a foreskin expert like you
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize