real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Randomize
